The Reality of a Dream

Its amazing the kind of skills you immediately pick up when you live alone. Being solely responsible for myself has brought out the inner carpenter in me I never knew existed; as well as the amateur electrician and furniture assembler extraordinaire. I’ve found myself browsing through DIY websites with almost the same amount of zeal that was previously reserved for TSN and my favorite comedy series. It’s completely exhausting, and sometimes, I’m tempted to think; Independence sucks!

                                                 

Its funny, I remember being 12 years old and dreaming about the day I would grow up, have a career, an apartment of my own, and a closet full of fabulous shoes, maybe not necessarily in that order. I was absolutely convinced that these were the trinity of modern day success. I thought having these things would make me unbelievably happy. However, I conveniently forgot to consider a major personality flaw that I’ve been dealing with for years. Simply put, for as long as I can remember, I’ve had this horrid habit of wanting what I can’t have, the second I have it, I don’t want it anymore. A simple case in point; a while ago, I was just about to break a fast. Now for the duration of that fast, I had been fantasizing about a certain brand of milky chocolates. I told myself I’d get them as soon as the fast was over; I decided that I was going forgo them for awhile as part of depriving myself and focusing on God and all things heavenly. Well finally the D day comes, I rush over to my local supermarket and…its not there! Apparently they’d run out of stock. So, I hop into a cab and take a ride to another supermarket, then another…nada. You’d have thought the factory workers for the company had declared a strike on that particular brand. I couldn’t find it anywhere. I spent the next few days in a frenzy searching for them, from department store, to grocery shops, I even put out an S.O.S call to a few of my friends, asking them to contact me upon any sighting of the treats. Then just when I was starting to get really antsy, I spotted them! Finally! I spent a few seconds allowing myself to get really excited, rushed over to the counter and immediately paid for them, and then quickly tore open the wrapper. That was when I realized I had absolutely no desire whatsoever at that point to eat them. In typical Mimi fashion, I just didn’t want them anymore.

Well fast forward give or take a decade later. I have or am in the process of acquiring a few of the things that I dreamt about while growing up. Below, I have outlined a quick assessment of how far I’ve come and exactly how I feel about my current situation as regards the fulfillment of these dreams.

The career

I’m definitely grateful to have a job, especially in this economy. It’s great to have structure and I love waking up every morning and having somewhere to go and something to do. On the other hand, I don’t think I was quite prepared for the dreariness of bureaucracy, the battlefield that is office politics or the restrictive nature of corporate clothing. Honestly, the other day I was in the elevator when I spotted the reflection of a woman in a stuffy looking business suit in the mirror at the back. I didn’t think much of it until the man in the maroon suit stepped out on the next floor and I realized with a startle that the woman in the mirror was me. Seriously. At this point I’m thinking to myself, Really? I remember buying my first suit a little less than two years ago? Now I have a whole closet full. At the last count, I actually had more suits than jeans in my closet. Go figure

The apartment

Ok, I won’t lie. It’s nice amazing having my own space, and yeah by the way, I eventually found a place (See: Shelter & The City) I wouldn’t trade it for anything. But, I totally forgot about the responsibilities that come along with it. Like waking up on a cold morning and the water heater just absolutely refuses to come on, or opening a door and having the handle suddenly fly off in your face, or coming back home after a long day at work only to realize that your apartment is completely flooded because a pipe in your bathroom burst. (True story, happened to a friend of mine). Then of course there are the bills! Filling up a gas cylinder is annoyingly quite costly compared to what I initially thought. Now I completely understand why my mother freaked out all those years when I forgot the kettle on the cooker long after it had boiled. I also no longer get why I used to be so amused whenever I saw my little cousins crayon scribbles on their parents snow white walls. There is absolutely nothing funny about paying eight to sixteen thousand naira for a small can of four liters of paint. I repeat nothing funny at all.

The Shoes

I am still yet to acquire the fabulous collection of Louboutin’s, Choo’s, Blahnik’s and Prada’s. But knowing me, it’s totally possible that the day I buy my first overpriced designer shoes, I just may look at them and think, I’d kill for a pair of Primark sandals right now, they are so much more comfortable.

I guess at the end of the day, my strange personality quirk comes down to the principle of the grass being greener on the other side, with a small dash of the old saying be careful what you wish for.

Looking back, I realize that I should have been more thankful for the things that I had then, and spent a little less time dreaming of the things I felt would make me content. At the end of the day, having those things will not necessarily make you happier. So cliché yet so true.

I should have been grateful that I was still in school and didn’t have to face the reality of adult life, thankful that I had my family around me in my home, and, I guess at the moment, take delight in my Dorothy Perkins and Zara shoes knowing that my Chanel pumps are surely on their way to my walk in closet shoe rack.

With that in mind, I will also finally stop day dreaming about when I will own my own private jet. Who knows, I just might miss the good old days of delayed flights and annoying harassment from airport security officials. After all, stranger things have happened.

Cheers