Shelter & The City

The city of Abuja is a most unfriendly town to newcomers. Trying to find an apartment here feels a bit like looking for a four leaved clover; or trying to find that elusive pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Just when you think you’re almost there, you look up and realize you still have a long way to go.


I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of Real Estate “Agent’s” in this town, they string you along in a continuous state of hope while bleeding you dry of your hard earned cash along the way.

At the bottom of the agent’s food chain are the ‘touts’ who hang around street corners and under leafy trees that line the quiet streets of Abuja. They have no offices or complimentary cards, and more often than not, have never even come close to seeing the “fantastic” places that they promise to show you, all in a bid to lure you out to their hang outs.


Now because you long deeply for a little spot to call your home, you convince yourself that they may have something good to offer you. You pick them up, and drive round in circles as they make calls on their cell phones, then, somewhere along the way, you end up picking two or three scruffy looking characters who all claim to know the person, who knows the person, who may know the person, who once used to live three streets away from the actual agent of ‘The Place’.


You put up with their body odor and disturbing habit of shifting just a little too close for comfort because you’re hoping that maybe this time, you will be lucky.


Eventually, after wasting a good amount of your time and racking up a fortune in Taxi fees, you get to ‘The Place’. And discover it is an abandoned building surrounded by three feet high weeds, with no electricity or running water, at the end of a lonely looking Close.


The Middle level agents are those who work for registered Real Estate firms. They usually will have a means of transportation and their clients are mainly retired Civil Servants looking to make some extra income off their government acquired property. If you’re lucky, you may end up scoring a place with them. If you are really patient and are willing and able to embark upon a six month or more waiting period as they wait for a vacancy to open up from among their clients buildings. They are usually totally clueless about any properties available ‘To Let’; that are not located in one of the ubiquitous, former civil service quarters that are found on every street corner in Abuja.


Then, at the very top; are the cream of the crop agents. They refer to themselves as Quantity Surveyors or Professional Estate Managers and work for high end property developers and construction firms. They drive around in shiny SUV’s and have three cell phones, two personal assistants and a professional pen holder. They have no time for middle class, entry level, government employees searching for one bedroom apartments in the heart of town. Unless you are a young female who's willing to meet up with them after hours in a dingy motel somewhere in that part of town. They are too busy making hefty percentages off multi-million naira serviced apartment rentals, and sales of government approved, multinational construction firm built mansions in choice areas.


In the end, I am starting to believe that it takes a small miracle to end up in a semi-decent place that you can call home.


If I sound at all bitter, it is probably because I am you see. After months of being manipulated by touts, pushed around by the middle level agents, and totally ignored by the cream of the crop. I am just around ready to take radical action. Starting next week, I think I will take to the streets and begin to march around town with a placard on my chest saying “WILL WORK FOR FREE HOUSING!!”


So do not be surprised if you happen to pass by a major intersection, and you look up and see someone who looks a lot like me standing in the middle of the road. I may be trying to get the attention of passers and drivers-by who look like they may own property.

If you’d rather not come over and say hi, you have my permission to cross to the other side of the street and pretend like you don’t know me

I’ll totally understand



Cheers.