He Speaks: The Truth about Male Emotions

So today, I have another guest male blogger for the ‘He Speaks’ series, Aniekan of The Rabbit Hole of my Mind. I bumped into Aniekan at a small dinner party in a mutual friend’s house. As is usually the case where there is good food and plenty of light banter, I ended up having quite an interesting conversation with a few people, including him. During which I discovered that he had a refreshingly candid way of expressing his opinions. Upon learning that we were both bloggers, he paid a visit to mine during which he stumbled upon THIS post the result of which is his post below. I thought it was quite interesting when I read it and decided to share it with you all. Enjoy.


If there’s one thing that I’ve learnt over the last couple of months, it’s that there is always a constant need for re evaluation of who we are, of what we believe and of our goals. Without this, we would be stuck in a never ending loop of falsity and a reliance on the past, forgetting that that’s what it is THE PAST. In the quest for re evaluation, reappraisal and redefinition, one element is key- TRUTH. Truth has the power to take you from where you are, to where you were designed to be. I always tell my friends: you may not always tell the truth, but make sure you KNOW the truth. About who you are, what your weaknesses are, why you believe the things you do. As I experience life in a new gamut of complexities, I find that it becomes easier to lose yourself in the lies that the world so conveniently makes available. The Truth is our only link to reality.


Ok, now that I’m done with the premise let’s get down to the ‘koko’ of today’s post. Before I start however, let me apologize to whoever this may offend. I’m deeply sorry.


In the spirit of the truth, I have come to realize that over time, for reasons I’m yet to understand, social constructs have made us believe that the more resilient of the Homo sapiens are the males. Women have been tagged the weaker sex, largely because of their predisposition to emotions and all that. This, I think, is a warped idea. I have come to understand that regardless of where you are from, the one thing that ties humanity together is the fact that we all are emotional beings. And in a sense, those beings are the real people. Every other thing is an outfit that we put on to clothe or hide our true natures. Menfolk have constantly sought to downplay and sometime relegate their innate fragility and have rather exploited the very same thing in the opposite sex. To a large extent, it has worked! Decades have passed, and we have slowly believed the subtle notion that women are the emotional crop; that emotions are destructive, unproductive and irrelevant….RUBBISH.

You disagree? Then why are men (though not all) scared of commitment? I think it’s because commitment opens you up emotionally. Why is it that the only way to truly wound a man is to wound his pride? Why is it that no matter how hard a man pretends to be, when he’s with the woman he loves, he becomes a totally different person? Why do they cry over football matches? You have every right to hold an opposing opinion if you so desire, but in all of this, let TRUTH prevail. Even if it cannot come out of your mouth yet, develop the wonderful ability of telling yourself the truth.

As a new crop of men continue to spread like wildfire, taking over wasted lands and restoring the dignity of Nigeria and the world as a whole, as we become the upgrade for an increasingly obsolete world, let truth guide us. Earlier when I mentioned the role of truth in re evaluation and redefinition, I meant allowing the truth about our very natures to act as catalysts in upgrading us to what I have called the NIGERIAN 2.0.

With respect to emotional sensitivity, I believe that it helps you connect with everyone around you. It helps you hear what you wouldn’t with your ears, see what you couldn’t with your eyes and touch what you can’t with your hands- lives! I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that if as men, we learn to accept this truth about ourselves, we would be better boyfriends, better fathers, better friends, better leaders, better people, deeper lovers, deeper followers, deeper worshippers, deeper thinkers.


We would birth limbo the emergence of a new breed, The NIGERIAN, Version 2.0. This is especially important for the men since we have overtime conditioned ourselves to shut out that integral part of our lives. I may not be able to totally transfer all that I have in my head…no, my heart, concerning this matter. I however hope that the spirit is understood. For too long, we may have missed out on some of the most beautiful aspects of our relations with others simply because we have been wary of looking ‘weak’…


Once again, I don’t claim to have all the answers, but these are my thoughts…what are yours?