Tears, Tantrums and Birthday Tales

                                                 
It was my birthday yesterday. I know this because my parents told me so.


Also, I have seen the original copy of my birth certificate and it did in fact have the 9th day of May boldly written on it. Right before my crossed out birth weight, apparently, I either weighed 4.2 or 4.4kg, depending on who I choose to believe.

Last night, I lay awake going down memory lane, of different birthdays and the circumstances surrounding each one; it’s been a roller coaster ride for sure.

I remember my first birthday, ok, ok I lie, actually I don’t remember it at all. My brother does though; he claims I spent the whole day bawling as I was passed from hand to hand at the party my parents threw for me. I believe him, because somewhere in my house is a picture of me in a red and white dress with a swollen face and puffy eyes. In many of the pictures from that day, I was staring at the camera, probably wondering what on earth that bright shinny light that kept going off every few seconds was. In one of the pictures, my brother is standing beside me on my father’s instructions, I gather he was placed there to try his hand at calming me down, but I suspect he was far more interested in licking the icing off my birthday cake. In another, I can see my mother’s arms around me as she struggled to hold me in place in front of my doll cake, whose icing dress was colored to look exactly like mine, so that they could get a perfect picture of the birthday girl with her dress- matching cake.

I do remember my fifth birthday though. I woke up that morning super excited. I clearly remember running around the house in my Pink Minnie Mouse pajamas yelling “I’m five! I’m five. I’m a big girl now, Yippe!” My older cousin who was staying with us at the time was awake and in the living room, I ran up to him and asked “So, am I taller? Do I look bigger?” He smiled and nodded, “Sure!” he said, I just bet he was thinking to himself, ‘whatever rocks your boat you this child’. “Yay!” I yelled “I’m bigger!” I turned around and ran back towards my room tripping over my brother’s toy action figures scattered across the parlor floor, and taking a flying tumble in the process. But what did I care? I was F-I-V-E for goodness sake.

The following year was when my parents decided to throw my brother and I a joint birthday party, seeing as our birthdays are only a day apart. We’d been looking forward to it for weeks. On the D day, I woke up, slipped into my pale yellow party frock and ribbons at noon and got myself ready to boogie. I was especially looking forward to all the cool birthday presents I just knew I was going to get. Then, the first guest shows up, with a brightly wrapped birthday present and it’s for..….my brother. Ok I thought, it’s his party too, some people would bring presents for him and some for me. No problem. Well, it turned out I was wrong, ALL people decided to get him presents and completely forget about me. Then, when my next door neighbor and playmate showed up at the party with a gift in her hand and asked for my brother as well, I decided it was the final straw, and that I’d just about had it. It was a real “E tu brutus? “ moment as I felt completely betrayed.

“I cant believe you Onyinye, you brought a present for him too! What about me?!” I screamed. Seeing that I was about to go into a hissy fit, she tried to retrace her steps “Er, Well, er, actually” she stuttered “this gift is for you, here!” she thrust it into my hand. I tore it open expectantly to see what it was….well, it was a little red piggy bank shaped like a box. I sighed and said my thanks. At least it wasn’t something really obvious like a blue toy car.

By the end of the party, our guest room was filled to the brim with gift boxes of all shapes and sizes, they were so many that they spilled from the bed unto the floor and there was hardly any room left to walk around in.

When I saw this, the green eyed monster reared its ugly head, and I decided that I was in fact going to have a brat moment. So I went up to my Dad and demanded to be given a party pack. Trust men, he sharply directed me to my mother. This was at the close of the party mind you, so there were hardly any left over. “Mimi dear” my mum said” You can’t have one now, they are for your guests, and you are the celebrant see?” No, I didn’t see, and I decided to embark upon a loud form of lung exercises as a form of protest. Somehow, to this day I still don’t now how, but eventually one was fished out from somewhere for me, and I finally put a stop to the water works. Somewhere in my house is a picture of myself, my brother and aunt just moments after I finally got my party gift pack. Again, my face is swollen from tears, my brother -the angel child is sitting beside me looking the exact opposite of a diva brat and my aunt is smiling into the camera. Ah fond memories.

The last birthday I spent at home before going off to boarding school was really sentimental for my Mum. I got the required cake, drinks and snacks for my classmates, plus I got to wear a pretty dress and be the belle of the day. Wait, now that I think about it, I don’t think I actually wore a dress, I think I had on my pink studded leggings and a fancy t-shirt. Before you judge me, please remember that leggings were the height of cool then, before they disappeared for awhile and made their fashion come back a couple years back.

Turning thirteen was so exciting for me. I was finally going to be a cool teenager and I could hardly wait. I remember that around that time I started every sentence with “ Well, you know I’m THIRteen now…”. I really don’t know how my Mother put up with me. Things didn’t quite turn out the way I expected though; I did become a teenager but not a very cool one. My idea of fun was to curl up in a corner with a book, and till today, I still struggle with my anti social tendencies sometimes.

My first birthday after secondary school was an introduction into the real world. I was home alone because everyone had either travelled or was in school. I stayed up till midnight watching ‘Felicity’ on cable, then prayed and went to bed. Luckily, some of my friends showed up in the afternoon and took me out to lunch so it wasn’t so bad after all.

The last few birthdays have been relatively peaceful with not too much drama. I recall the one that on paper sounds a lot similar to what I will be doing later today. I went out for pizza and then to the movies with some of my friends, and we ended up meeting some really weird guys that day, but that is an entirely different blog post. I also recall the one where I had just started an internship in a multinational company a week before and knew absolutely no one. I was in the office for most of the day and had to sneak to the bathroom from time to time to pick up my birthday calls. Of course by the time I was rounding up I had met a bunch of really cool friends and had a total blast along the way.

So, I dedicate this post to all my birthdays past and present, and wish my self many more returns (what does that actually mean sef? Why do we say that to people on their birthdays? Returns from where?). Scratch that, I wish myself many more years of fulfillment, happiness and peace.

“The path of the just is like a shining light, that shines brighter and brighter unto a perfect day” Prov 4:18

This is most definitely the least I will ever be ya’ll.

I’m curious, what are some of you favorite (and not so favorite) Birthday memories? Please feel free to share.

Cheers