An Ode to Friendship

I love my girlfriends.

I have always been slightly suspicious of women who brag about the fact that they don’t ‘do’ female friendships. Personally, I think girl friends rock. There are so many things you can share with another female that a man will never really understand. Like periods for example. Tell your best guy buddy that you’re having monster sized cramps and he’ll probably mutter an uncomfortable ‘sorry’ just before he speeds off or immediately changes the subject. Tell your girlfriend the same thing, and you’re immediately inundated with phrases like ‘Oh so sorry dear’ ‘Aww, I know how you feel’ and suggestions on what pain relieving tactics to employ. Alternatively, she may prescribe painkillers she’s sure will help based on her personal experience or that of a trusted friend and may even loan you her hot water bottle.  I once had a male doctor tell me that he thought Dysmenorrhea was a function of women’s imaginations. I wanted terribly to smack him.

Male friendships definitely have their place, but I honestly don’t know what I’d do with out my girl friends. They are the only ones who truly get why I need several pairs of black heels. A man just doesn’t know that you can’t wear black pumps with everything. If you think about it why should he? He can wear the same pair of black shoes with almost ever outfit he has and it’ll work just fine. A woman simply cannot.

My guy friends don’t understand my fondness for glossy magazines, or that burgundy and plum are shades of red. They don’t know how I feel when I’ve been standing for hours in heels and they can’t advice me on whether I should use a ‘Premium’ or ‘Supreme’weave to make the hairstyle similar to what I recently saw on Kelly Rowland. In a lot of ways they quite simply don’t get it.

My girlfriends on the other hand do. I can trust them for advice on things that I would hesitate even if slightly before sharing with my closest guy pal.

Like cars, they come in all shapes and sizes.

There is the one I will call my ‘superficial’ friend. The first thing she wants to know as soon as I’ve mentioned that I’ve met a guy is, in this exact order “Is he cute? How tall is he? What car does he drive? Where does he live? What does he do for a living? Is he a smart dresser? My friend I don’t want to see you near any random guy o, just know now’. As vain as she may sound, I really do think she serves a purpose, which is to remind me not to settle for less. Only thing is our definitions of ‘less’ varies greatly.

Then there’s my really spiritual friend. I use the word really intentionally because most of my friends are spiritual (not religious) people anyways.  As soon as I mention I’ve met a boy all she wants to know is “Where does he worship? Have you heard him pray? Do you think your destiny’s can function together? What is his belief system? I just want to make sure that you’re not unequally yoked you know”

My practical friend likes to keep it real. She wants to know “Are you guys compatible? What are the things you really don’t like about him? Is he supportive of you? Do you think you guys have any potential for longevity? I just don’t want to see you in a crash and burn situation you know”

My idealistic friend is the complete opposite, ever the romantic; all she really cares about is my answer to the all important question “Are you in love? Because if at the end of the day you’re not, then there is not point you know” she says.

Like I said I love my girlfriends.

I’m sure my gushing, might lead some people to think that I’m just blessed to have a bunch of people around me who are just perfect. Far from it. There have been fights, hurtful words said in the heat of the moment and tempers frayed. We are not in any way perfect; we are just people who constantly and openly practice the art of forgiveness. Show me two friends who have never had a disagreement and I guarantee you that at least one of them is pretending. I read that on someone’s blog, can’t quite remember whose and it just stuck with me because I think it is so true.

Sometimes when I hear from female friends’ stories of betrayals and the like from other females, I gently challenge them to

1. Ask themselves in all honesty if they in any way intentionally or otherwise through their words or actions contributed towards the actions of the person who admittedly wronged them.
2. Ask them to try to see things from the other person’s perspective. Sometimes, standing in another person’s corner of the room allows you to see things from a different angle.

I am not undermining the fact that there are people out there that you are better of withdrawing from in order to lead a healthier and happier life. I am just saying, that sometimes the person who thinks that there is something wrong with everyone else should accept that they are the common factor in all these failed relationships.

My girl friends bring joy to my life and enrich it in many ways. They are not many true, but I think that it is better to have a handful of good friends than a room full of bad ones.

I was inspired to write this post as an ode to female friendship because I think there is far too much negativity associated with the subject far too often.

Today, take time out to be thankful for the gift of female friendship. The bible says that "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly; and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother" Proverbs 18:24 (KJV) allow me to paraphrase when I say I believe this extends to sisters as well. 

P.S 

Ok so I know this isn't really an ode per say, seeing as it is not a poem, just stick with me on this : )

Cheers.